• The Lion. No prizes for guessing whom I’m referring to here. The Big Boss with the roomy cabin and the plush sofas. The Lion usually has disdain on his face and contempt in his heart for the rest of the lesser beings in his lair. Nevertheless, he will pad through the jungle at least once a day, ostensibly to see if all’s ok with the tribe. In reality he does so to roar a couple of times and put the fear of exile in the many quivering hearts around office.

• Fixing a meeting with the lion is usually more difficult than actually sitting through it. That’s because guarding him at all times is the most deadly of all office beings, his secretary or The Lioness. Daunting, rude, temperamental and almost always of Anglo-Indian descent, the Lioness is the toughest animal to crack. Befriend her and you can be assured of a smooth stay in the jungle. Get on her wrong side and every late entry, every extra pen requisitioned and absolutely every wrong move is duly noted and stored as future ammunition.
  I once did the English homework of the daughter of one such lioness. Although it went against one of my top 10 principles (You know, the popular ‘Thou shalt not to do others’ homework’ one), doing her homework gave me unimaginable clout, so much, that when I left, she made sure I got my settlement cheque within a day. There are people I know of who are still waiting for theirs.

• The Elephant. This is one of the nicest creatures in the jungle and if you’re working under an Elephant, you’ll probably do well. Intelligent, graceful and well established, the elephant will let you do what you have to with just the right amount of guidance. There’s also this air of stability to the elephant that’s reassuring and you can be sure that it’ll never try to pull one over you, just for the glory.

• The Fox. Wily, cunning and quick to take ownership of a job well done, the Fox is also lovingly called the Bitch. The speciality of this animal is in its ability to be everywhere at the same time. It sniffs out important projects and then sniffs up the asses of important people. A shiny coat or big bright eyes add to it’s attractiveness to the upper management. You may hate the Fox but it’s usually too quick for you to catch and is known to thrive well in the jungle.

• The Squirrel. Quick hi, run down the stairs, quick how you doing, don’t wait for reply, rush into cubicle, talk fast, interrupt others, answer frenzied phone calls, gulp coffee, leave food uneaten, dash, rush. What the fuck are you in such a hurry for? Everyone knows you handle one client who comes alive once a year. Why don’t you just go to hell? And hurry!!

• Where there’s the Squirrel, there’s The Sloth. Slow to the point of exasperation, this creature lives in a time zone of its own and no amount of screaming, begging or threatening will get it to move faster. Usually in charge of seemingly unimportant things like pasting or despatch, the sloth makes its importance felt by making you stay in office till 3 in the morning, while it pastes two ads onto some thick paper. Sometimes it becomes completely still and needs to be poked to check if it’s still alive. Unfortunately, it always is.

• The Chimp. That’s the obnoxious melodramatic one who screams loudly; thumps his chest madly, bounds from one place to another and generally makes a nuisance of himself. He’s always the first to snatch your food when no one’s looking, bum endless cigarettes and at any office party, behaves like a total monkey. Sometimes good for some comic relief the chimp is mostly just a carrier of lice and dirt and is best kept at a very long arm’s distance.

• The Jackal. Beware of this breed of scavengers. All day it does nothing but trail behind others and then feed off their hunt. It’s not very ambitious but has a strong survival instinct and will do anything to stay in the jungle. Jackals will find each other and bond quickly and then continue their foraging activities in packs. You’ll find this creature poking its nose where it has no business but before you can confront it, it slyly slinks away in search for its next meal.

• The Migratory Bird. Some people just can’t stay in one place for too long. They come in with huge fanfare, stick around while the going’s good and take off as soon as greener pastures beckon.

• The little birds, worms and other beasts. Every jungle has them, as does every office. Creatures whose jobs are important for the smooth functioning of the office, although nobody’s quite sure what exactly they do. They come in at 9 and leave at 5, and the kind of industry they belong to usually has no bearing on their work. Most offices have them in abundance but in times of a drought, they’re the first to go.
  

People in offices tend to stick with their kind. Be it a common language, an overseas boyfriend issue or a sense of snobbery towards others that binds them together, you will always find office folks in packs, twittering with each other in a language only they can understand. As for me, the newest animal to join this wild bunch, I’m still finding my place around here and wondering every now and then…did I have to step out into the wild or was I just better off as a lone eagle flying where I wanted to, no rules, no colleagues, just the freedom of the wide open sky.

Posted by that girl in pink  | 4:41 pm  |  44 comments  

44 Comments

at 5:19 pm  Anonymous said...

Hi gOOD WORK. i DID THE SAME SOME TIME AGO.
http://lycra.rediffblogs.com/2004_31_10_lycra_archive.html

 

at 5:30 pm  Sue said...

Ok, so you only have goshawful types at work, I see. Apart from the elephant and the small folk, nobody else seems remotely likable. What a good thing you're such a dedicated jinx, eh?

:-)

 

at 5:52 pm  Hyde said...

I start out being a lone wolf. Once I get settled I change to a parakeet.

 

at 6:55 pm  mad angles said...

I think this has totally inspired me to an animal post I've been long wanting to do. Problem was there were some creatures in my organisation that really didn't fit ANY category. Ok Hyenas, maybe.

 

at 10:28 pm  Nessa said...

Very good, very entertaining and very true.

 

at 11:49 pm  It's me said...

So true..So true! And so well written. My jungle is well endowed with each one of these creatures, with an especially generous helping of jackals and foxes. Damn those two!

 

at 4:28 am  Nessa said...

By the way, I read back where you told me what your sumbol is. I'll visualize the bag part. But I like it as it is.

 

at 10:51 am  Achtlandia said...

aha! so someone's stopped being a sloth and has decided to get something written finally...sweet!

 

at 11:20 am  The Grunt said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog, "TGIP". You caught me on an emotional day. I hope that you return to see my other sides, too.

 

at 12:10 pm  Vijayeta said...

Lovely! And how true too :) I know a squirrel and sloth in my team and GOD! I so want to kill them both... And my jungle also at most times has animals who're there just 'cos they look pretty and add to the 'look and feel' of the jungle.
Sigh!

 

at 5:15 pm  that girl in pink said...

hi lycra , read your post, most interesting. reminded me of all the species i'd left out, especially the voluble crow - you know, the non stop talker who's main diet includes your brain!

sue : actually there are a lot of nice people in my office but it's no fun to write about them! so much more enjoyable to bitch, don't you think? :)

hyde : parakeet? hmm...colourful and chirpy?

 

at 5:30 pm  lemontree said...

hey pink; nice post , was trying to plot everyone from LB!
and we our ofcourse the migratory birds:)

 

at 8:44 pm  that girl in pink said...

so there was a work emergency and i had to rush and that's why my little talk back session got interrupted. well, i'm back now. so where was i...

essar : hyenas!! that's the animal i had in mind while i was writing about jackals. i knew jackal didn't sound right...lol

goldennib : so it's a similar story everywhere, huh? and thanks for imagining the bag! :)

it's me : yes, they are the worst kind for sure! i'm still trying to figure out who the fox around this place is...

Thanks dee !

achtlandia : incurring the wrath of a goddess was out of the question, so i had to write!
by the way, was your name supposed to be chatlandia or does achtlandia mean something?

sure grunt, : i'll be back soon.

vijayeta : i just discovered that squirrel here is badly cock eyed. maybe that's why he's always scurrying away cuz he doesn't want to make eye contact with anyone.
i am so going to hell for saying this.

lemontree : well, we try to make one forest our home but what to do, we're just travellers at heart! (and also greedy and ready to change loyalties for more money at a drop of hat!)

 

at 10:58 pm  jhantu said...

how about the hyenas?? the one who do al the cleaning up of all the mess aka the accountants and the tax lawyers

 

at 9:08 am  Jenn said...

My boss wasn't a lion. She wasn't even a lioness. She was a female dog. And not in a good way.

Doesn't a hyena feature in the Life of Pi? Pi wasn't impressed by it, from all accounts.

Nice post!

 

at 12:15 pm  Nautilus said...

I once worked for a fox (read bitch) and then a jackal!!! Brought back nasty memories... *shudder*

 

at 4:58 pm  Sue said...

I dunno but I get the feeling I'm currently working with a fox in my team...

 

at 12:24 am  It's me said...

hey pink! Moi's antenna thinks its already picked up on who the fox at your office is :) a big-mouthed one at that! what do you think?

 

at 8:34 am  that girl in pink said...

pink berry : me too! one day i hope i grow up to be a nice big elephant.

dear god, before making my wish come true, do read the post and understand what context im making this prayer in.

MJNH : i know! i missed out the hyenas. rather got them confused with another animal!

jenn : yeah, there was a hyena in life of pi. god, i hated that book. forced my self to some how finish it.

nautilius : hope you're with a better bunch of animals now!

gutterspace : yes, sometimes the worst happens with inter species procreation and people like your ex boss are born. very very difficult to handle.

sue : foxes are wily creatures! what's your strategy to deal with this one?

it's me : i know who you're alluding to. she's got some fox like charachteristics, but mostly she's a hard working ant. so maybe, maybe not...time will tell.

 

at 3:45 pm  Hyde said...

Chirpy, yes. Colourful, am not quite sure.

 

at 2:03 am  twip said...

nice big elephant eh?

As long as its not physical...I think I'll second that..:)

 

at 10:08 am  Anonymous said...

hi pink, reading your post after a verrrrrrrry long time and that too with a cuppa coffee in one hand (what luxury).. the li'l mister aryan is fast asleep and i am stealing some enjoyable moments on your blog.. have a lot of cathing up to do with your other posts, so bye for now.. !

 

at 3:09 pm  Vj said...

Iam sorry for replying late . was really very very busy lately. hardly got time to work on site ..leave alone travelling.. i understand that the main market is a little littered but i think we have to accept it . i mostly travlled in the periphery..the roads going out of city with coniferous trees on both sides..it was so good.and my experience was so good . the bhagsunath temple and roads were very clean . except for the main market. i found the city clean (mayb things are better now)and i like the crowded,dirty market too ..it was so original . well ..that's what i felt ..anyway, you've a real nice blog going on ..i guess i'll b a regular

 

at 11:27 pm  that girl in pink said...

punkster : i'm afraid its on its way to becoming physical.
:-( no more carbs from tomorrow!!!

rj : where were you??? i missed you. welcome back!! big kiss for aryan. and don't be a stranger again.

vj : you know, for a few seconds i was wondering if you'd left your comment on the wrong blog. and then i remembered who you were! checked your blog for a while but you hadn't been updating, so...
anywho, welcome! and hope to see you more often. here and on your travel blog. :)

 

at 9:58 am  Anonymous said...

Pink,

As always an entertaining read. YM sides always hurt after reading your posts... can't stop laughing you see ; )

-UrPublicist

 

at 10:26 am  Anonymous said...

This one is so damn true! it actually made me laugh and retrospect on my previous co. :)

So let me guess you are into copywriting?

 

at 10:16 pm  that girl in pink said...

hyde : so are you beginning to chirp in b'lore? how you liking it so far?

publicist : thank you sweetie!! glad to provide you with a few giggles.

grey shades : guess it's pretty obvious. :-)

 

at 10:30 am  Hyde said...

I squawk, actually. :-) Bangalore's been good, so far. I would have liked a bigger welcome party though. ;-)

 

at 11:05 am  ichatteralot said...

A very vivid description of all workplaces and yes all animals turn up without fail in each jungle!

 

at 4:25 pm  Sue said...

Well, V gave me a lot of sage advice which didn't quite work out in real life. Have decided to ignore but not let it take too much.

As a result I fear I'm getting a bit unpopular with the rest of the group. Who are sheep.

 

at 5:34 pm  That Girl said...

hi :) thanks for dropping by my blog!
lol i think im a different breed of animal altogether!.....the nitpicky, perfectionist kind!!drives my boss up the wall!!

 

at 4:55 pm  Lalit Singh said...

Amzing ...well written,,, and how very true..
There are such people in all offices... and the better u know the people the better for u
I could easily say that this is one of the best pieces i have read amongst all the office-blogging people

 

at 5:56 pm  ± said...

now that i look at it, lots of those in my office.
mostly chimps. all dress in suits...

Loved your post. Not to mention very well written...I know what you mean...

but just one question...
agar office jungle hai...then who does jungle mein mangal?

'-)

 

at 8:29 am  If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

oh my god woman. u r seriously funny.

i read all your old posts since lalit sent me a link and i havent ever had a better friday at work!

"mother earth had pms while gifting seasons to India"

ROTFL

 

at 11:01 am  verbaltorture said...

First time here - and you're really funny !
Will frequent.

 

at 2:32 am  twip said...

sniff...sniff...I tried dieting...but my tummy would tolerate no such thing...it rebelled...and Im back to shoveling carbs....sigh....good luck with your no-carb diet...may the force be with you....:'(

 

at 6:10 pm  Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

No updates since quite a long time :( :(

 

at 8:40 pm  that girl in pink said...

hi everyone! thanks for dropping by, even though i haven't posted anything in ages! laziness, thy name is pink.

hyde , bangalore doesn't believe in big. bangalore is all about mellow. ichatteralot , seriously man! who says, wild animals are endangered! sue , i've given up on the popularity thing. how's it going with you? grafxgurl , i can understand why you drive your boss up the wall. :)

lalit, harjee, if i tell ya, i'll have to kill ya phew! :) verbal torture, asst krishna , thanks for your compliments. :) that smiley doesn't quite match the beaming smile i had on my face when i read your comments.

megh , i've been having chocolates in the name of no carbs, so my diet is pretty much not working!

arz00n , soon soon! don't abandon me just yet.

 

at 10:44 am  Achtlandia said...

teehee. it comes from achtland, who is the goddess of wanton love. find it here. no chatlandia...i know u googled this dint u? anyway common dude get something written. and if u don mind i'm linking u to my temple...

 

at 12:05 pm  Achtlandia said...

yo pink...thankee! hope u like it...

 

at 8:47 pm  Suji said...

Good one and very true. But I don't think jackals are so bad especially if you have seen Jungle Book.

 

at 12:16 pm  twip said...

damn.
diets are evil, Im telling you...:(

 

at 5:14 am  Anonymous said...

the fox: how apt!

 

at 3:38 am  Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » » »

 

Post a Comment