life through pink colour glasses: Here we go again

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Here we go again

Some people never learn. By ‘some people’, I’m referring of course, to myself.

After admitting to unmentionable activities earlier, I’m back. To confess to some more highly shameful and extremely pleasurable pastimes.

Note to self: my next post has to be more self-laudatory. I sound like an ass on my own blog. What I need is to do something heroic and then write about it. If only spending hours on the net helped find a cure to cancer…

Oh well, until that happens, here come some more shameful secrets.

Guilty pleasure #2. Indulging in the arts.

It is of course, my parent’s fault. See, I come from a generation that was brought up on the whole “You can be anything. You are talented.” doctrine.

What.A.Load.Of.Crap.

I remember how when I was little, one day out of complete boredom I picked up our white cordless phone (remember those Panasonic ones? Everyone had one) and painted all over it with various nail polishes from my mom’s dressing table.
And instead of giving me the tight slap I so richly deserved my parents complimented me on my creativity and artistic inclinations. Thus began the great delusion – somewhere within me, I have an artistic streak.

Fortunately, the Indian school and college system managed to keep this streak well under control for the most part of my life. Then began work and entry into adulthood, also equally time consuming and creativity killing. Then I decided to take a break from work and that’s when all the trouble started.

On a quiet street in Langford Town is a store called The Colour Factory. It’s this cute little place where you can paint your own pottery. Just pick up an item of your choice, draw out your own design and start painting. They provide you with the paints and brushes and everything, and after you’re done, they glaze your item for you so you can take it home and show it to your friends and family with pride.

If you observe their website carefully, you’ll notice that they mostly have pictures of little kids doing all the painting. But the fear of humiliating myself in front of children was no deterrent. One evening I decided that keeping my inner artist repressed for 28 years was enough and marched into the store to start a new, colourful phase of my life.

My first piece was a vase I’d decided I’d gift my mom (for coming up with the whole artistic streak idea in the first place). I carefully chose the design, the exact shades of colours, the stencil…every last detail was pondered over and for hours later I laboured over the vase. The experience was supremely artistic and I even sang as I painted. This is fantastic, I thought. Finally I have an answer to the age-old question, “What’s your hobby?” And I’ll actually create something beautiful that can be used.

Four hours later, the result was this:

Now if I were 3 and mentally challenged (no offence to three year olds or the mentally challenged), my mom may have considered using this as a broken-pens or unused-spoons stand. But since I’m fairly certain I’m neither, gifting this to anyone was out of the question.

Clearly, what I needed to do was come up with a good story of where I got this unfortunate item and rethink the whole artistic streak bit.

On the former, I was successful. This? Oh, I bought this at the Blind School Mela. Done by actual blind, mentally challenged three year olds. The proceeds all go to charity. *Angelic halo glows.*

On the latter issue however, I was finding it hard to let go. Maybe I’m not as hopeless at it as I think. Maybe this piece was just defective. If I do another one, I’m sure I’ll do much better. And besides, this is so much fun!

Refusing to kill the streak in me without a good solid go, the next Sunday I again ventured into the Colour Factory. I’ll show them! I’ll create something fabulous and I’ll gift it to my mother-in-law. Let her also know what a gifted genius her son has married.

Behold:

If you’re wondering what the fuck this is, it’s supposed to be a fish platter. And that’s a fish in the middle.

And yeah, the same blind school story holds.

You’d think that by now I ought to have learnt my lesson. But remember, this is a piece about guilty pleasures. And they’re bloody addictive. And so I went back in. And came out with this.

Not bad huh?

Now look at the outside.

I'm proud to say I've completely unintentionally managed to create a bowl with a bad fungus infection. This piece is so hideous, hospitals have refused to take it as a bed pan (even the blind children story didn't melt their cold hearts).

But the worst part is that after continuously creating one monstrosity after another, I keep going back for more. I love sitting there and dipping my brush into the colours and paint while scowling at the other kids who tend to be less quiet than me. Each time I hope this piece will come out better than the last and it never ever does.

Ah well! I can't help it. It's the damn artistic streak in me. If you had one, you'd understand what I'm talking about.

Posted by that girl in pink | 12:09 am | 51 comments

51 Comments

at 11:54 am A and A said...: LOL! This one had me laughing! Esp the fish platter! :D But you know what they say right? Try, try and try till you suceed!! :D *WT does super quick disappearing act before unused bedpan comes flying at him*
at 3:24 pm Shubhojit said...: Hey! Which fish is that? lol! well i never had that artistic streak in me so am not really able to do charity to the blind children u see :)
at 5:48 pm lemontree said...: pink
i think the art pieces are really nice
cheers to originality
and also i have to go to the color factory next time i am in bangalore
i have to i have to i have to

actually we shall go there together

:)
at 8:06 pm Jenn said...: Pink, why don't you go highbrow and tell all who sneer that this is your visual representation of Dadaist poetry - the one with the cocentric circles - you know how no matter how chaotic things look on the outside - on the inside, everything moves towards a single point of concentration - the rest is maya, illusion (OK have I waffled enough?)
at 12:46 am dRoZzY!!! said...: i am sorry, but the post was too long to read. yet colorful...
you seem to have a lot against the three year olds, mentally challenged and the blinded.
anyways, i am sure you can find a crazy buyer for all this stuff.... just give it some good reasoning... call it wishful reasoning

PS: the readability of a post is always inversely propotional to its lengh.
at 11:57 am shub said...: "create a bowl with a bad fungus infection." rotflmao! you rock! :D
Aaargh! why didn't I know of this place earleir! Would've definitely checked it out on my last trip home! :(
And was the post just disguised as a rant to fish for compliments? :P tee hee!
you're painting isn't all that bad, ya know! :D
at 5:38 pm Lalit Singh said...: hospitals have refused to take it as a bed pan
ROTFL
Pink, it wasnt that bad u know. Put a sapling in it.
at 8:18 am that girl in pink said...: oh i'm going to try again for sure, wishfulthinker! until i don't get at least one right, i'm not letting this go!

shubhojit: that would be a very special and rare fish, the name of which escapes me now. but let me assure u, its a fish!

lemon...there's a reason you're my friend!

ha ha jenn, i think you've got something there. now if only i could remember all those big words you just used! dadiast? maya!

hey drozzy! thanks for dropping by. you know, that's the first such complaint i've ever had - that my post was too long. i suppose that's one of the benefits of blogger - to be able to write as much as you want, along with the freedom to choose what you want to read.

shub! it's really ugly! i wish i could film it from all angles and put the video up.
i should've shown you other pieces that were done by averagely talented people and maybe then you'd get an idea of just how ugly mine is!

i'm scared lalit! what if the sapling dies due to inhospitable and downright ugly environment? in this day and age of global warming, can i really take that risk?
at 11:03 am Deliciously Alive said...: Ok, so painting is not for you *ducks under the computer screen before saying the rest* but you are a witty writer. And writing well is also a creative art, innit?:)))))))))))))
Or maybe you could try photography. How wrong can one go with a camera? Or maybe they can?:)))))))))))))
at 9:08 pm Kusum Rohra said...: Thats a fish in the middle? Really? :P

Maybe it's how fishes looked way before earth was created? Koschan is where did they live then?
at 11:54 pm Sue said...: Heh, funnee. Mind you, I don't think kids shoudl be encouraged to be artistic. If they really are, they'll find a way to express it. As things are I'm constantly forced to admire awful rubbish calling itself poetry, written by kids whose parents should have known better.

(That's why I post mine on the other, virtually unknown blog.:) )

P.S.
I liked the fish platter, so there.
at 12:29 pm Reeta Skeeter said...: hey Pink! I agree with drozzy "the readability of a post is always inversely propotional to its length"
at 7:48 pm Spunky Monkey said...: Well, we'll call it modern art then. Or, post-modern-cubist-abstractism whatever.
I don't get them anyway.
Chuck the blind school story and start telling people proudly that these are actual motifs used by cavemen, when they were hardly biped and that you are celebrating nascent artistic spirit.
Say it with chest thrown out and head held high. Big words, great fluff.
With that combination, one can sell anything!
at 4:24 pm freespirit said...: hey...if you called it something fancy like post-modern-impressions yada yada...I'm sure you could actually get rich and famous! And the whole concept seems really neat. The next time i'm in b'lore I should go there. I might just find you in a little corner working on your masterpiece!
at 7:55 pm Anonymous said...: i LIKE the fish platter!

nothing beats the strange teapot with a grimacing face as the spout some old beau made me from his pottery class...presenting it to me one warm evening, saying "i thought of you when i made this."

oh, but i DO love those pottery painting places!
at 11:07 pm that girl in pink said...: quicksilver: but u was so good at painting in class 2!! surely, there's a smidgen of talent somewhere!

kusum, they probably lived in a bowl that looked like this. which is what lead to their extinction...

sue! as a mother you cannot be saying such blasphemous things! it is your duty to appreciate everything your baby does! remember, even his potty is artistic.

reeta, sorry you didn't enjoy the post.

you're right spunky! futuristic art it is. what you see is exactly what i intended to make.

hey freespirit! do you come to b'lore often? its really a lot of fun. if you come, you'll recognise me as the only adult amongst 7 year olds.

oh gosh ling! that sounds bizarre! ha ha. maybe you love tea. or er..have a spout?
at 12:16 am Reeta Skeeter said...: arre baba! I liked the post just that I like reading small posts...Ur blog is on my 'Reeta Reads' list means u rock! :D Cheers!
at 12:48 am If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...: hehehehe...i rather liked ur art. trust me, u can get away with anything if u call it post-modern. the fishy was cute. infact, for a new hobby, upload these pix on eBay and see if people actually bid for them.

ANYWAY, YOU ARE TAGGED!!! THE FIRST KISS TAG IS UPON YOU. GO FORTH AND COMPLETE!! Details on my blog.
at 1:27 pm manuscrypts said...: thats a heroic attempt in itself ;)
at 8:51 pm Sandeep said...: God, this was funny. I laughed out loud in the office and pretended like it was a cough when people stared.

Nice Blog, btw!
at 1:20 am TheExperimentalMom said...: I am inspired:P...

takes a lot f guts to follow your heart and to write a post with pictures of your efforts:).
Gud job!
at 1:22 am Arjun Sharma said...: He he, rejected bedpan was funny.

Your blog is addictive.
at 8:35 am Rishabh Kaul said...: OMFG!!!
That was hilarious, especially the fish part! But as I looked closer, yes in certain respects it did seem like a fish...(scratches head and ponders over that last statement).
at 2:14 pm P said...: ROTFL!!That was just way too funny!!
Am still trying to figure out the fish platter... :)
at 2:50 pm Anonymous said...: Man, *you* are funny as hell. Was just going through the archives (all of them, one by one, slowly, so I don't finish reading them all in one day) and read the "KBC Dvitheeeeeiye!" post - brilliant. Also the one on Bangalore. Loved it.

I don't normally get all school-girly on people like this, you have an awesome blog here. Please keep posting.

Sandeep
at 3:28 pm freespirit said...: hey.. yes, Bangalore is home for me. I try and fly back at every opportunity I can get and then i get there and curse the traffic. But that is a whole different post in itself.
at 5:39 pm Aqua said...: girl! you have to give yourself some credit. these art pieces are quite good. i MUST check out this color factory place. sounds like fun!!! never heard of it before. thanks for the link.
at 2:13 pm that girl in pink said...: reeta :)

if i tell ya...: does that happen india? can you dispose off your old crap on the internet?

manuscrypts: thanks! i think so too.

hey sandeep: blush thank you!

sparsh!: its the anonymity of the internet that gives me the guts to do all this.

hey arjun! thanks for dropping by. hope you come again.

it is a fish. i promise you rishabh, if you look closely and really let your imagination fly, you'll see it too.

perspective inc.: just squint your eyes and imagine a half blue and half green fish and you'll see it.

hey freespirit! so next time you come to b'lore, instead of memories of traffic, you could take back a nice painted mug. much better option na?

hi aqua! it really is a great place. very cutely done up and they give you all the supplies. check it out when you can.
at 11:05 am Anonymous said...: hey:-) its not bad dude! and definintely u r improvin
at 10:10 pm Anonymous said...: ha haaa!! Girl, you are a riot!!!!

Gosh, this was sooo much fun... your posts are always supremely hilarious... and now so is ur art ;)

You're the best, Pinky aunty. You rock!

-UrPublicist
at 10:19 am Spunky Monkey said...: Hey Pink, did you notice that the subject of our painful catharsis has gotten itself a longer name?
It now goes by a name that can put even Captain Underpants titles to pitiful shame.
Colgate Maxfresh Antakshari The Great Challenge LITTLE STARS. (I napped thrice on the way.)

(Ah. Anonymity!)
at 4:05 pm Deliciously Alive said...: Like it or not, but you’ve been tagged here;
http://diemos.blogspot.com/
at 1:45 pm Iris said...: Hahaha! Blame it on the glaze ya....that is what puts all the creativity down the drains.
at 7:21 am twip said...: You are officially a surrealist.

No, really. Just call yourself that when anyone questions you about your art, and bore them silly by delving into hitherto unknown glories of abstract expressionism and the like.

That'll get em.

Oh and I don't think the pieces are half bad.

Seriously.
at 5:20 pm Vijayeta said...: Well, it sure looks like a lot of fun! And fun stuff can get terribly addictive too. As is obvious by the popularity of alcohol and drugs :p
But i say go on and try again! We all have an artist within us just dying to break free!
:)
at 12:06 am Mudra said...: Hey,

I'm the Editor of Sans Frontieres, the Umang magazine. I think you write really well and I'd be glad if you could write for SF too.

I'm not sure where you live, so maybe I should give you a bit of background about Umang. Umang is an inter-college fest held in Bombay every August. Umang 2006 saw 31000 students, 83 colleges and 55 events. Sans Frontieres has a readership of more than 2000 (again, all students between the age of 17 and 22).

I think your humour and your whimsical takes on everyday stuff are both really good. We prefer our authors to write about topics that are youth-based, just as you usually do. Please do email me at umang.sf@gmail.com for further details, and maybe then we can discuss this in greater detail (I had to leave a comment because your email ID is not available here). Thanks! :)
at 11:30 pm dipali said...: Loved the post. The painted pots weren't all that bad, and, AND I COULD SEE THE FISH! Sounds like loads of fun, so keep at it....
at 3:03 pm Serendipity said...: This comment has been removed by the author.
at 3:06 pm Serendipity said...: Looks a little shame faced ..
the fish looked like a front view of Ganesha to me :(

Pause

! Maybe I'M an artist too! Im actually interpreting shapes! Woohoo !

PS: :) Nice to read ur writing!
at 10:59 pm NevYasShwnYo said...: u can always saya picasso face inspired it
at 7:44 pm Anonymous said...: long time no post?
at 11:58 am Kavitha said...: Thanks for the link to color factory.....I am taking my kid there this weekend...

Hope to catch you there :-)
at 12:49 pm Rishabh Kaul said...: update?
at 5:12 am Gonecase aka. Shutter Singh said...: Hey, u can use some Harrapan culture artifects term next time if you are fed up with blind story thing; were not that bad either except first mug :P
But must say, post was amazing with loads of pun
at 1:58 pm Unknown said...: Err...I will think twice about showing my take on the childhood cartoon drawing "hobby" of mine. Great post and a wonderful blog. LOL.
at 2:08 am Sue said...: You're tagged. It's about Indian Writing. So post already, na!
at 9:32 am Thinking Cramps said...: This made me laugh out loud. It was hilarious! My artistic aspirations usually meet even sorrier ends (hidden at the back of the cupboard till discovered by someone else by accident, at which time even I "forget" where it came from! :)
at 3:38 pm Igirit said...: so pretty. :)
and what a lovely thing to do?
it's on richmond road? I can't wait to go.

so so pretty. :)
at 12:49 pm D said...: Stumbled on your blog and am going back thoroughly entertained... Will be back for more!
at 9:09 pm DewdropDream said...: Umm... I'm not sure why you're not happy with what you created, because I loved all the pieces!! Maybe I just have a different sense of aesthetics... but If there was the remotest chance of me having known you in person, I'd have totally badgered you to make such stuff for me all the time :) Please don't stop!
at 1:42 am Screwdriver said...: I have absolutely no artsy streak in me. So if people say its pretty, it must be!I think each one of it can be used for target practice.

...it was funny!