name: that girl in pink
location: Somewhere, India
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Saturday, April 02, 2011

My review of the movie Game (without having actually seen it)

With great experience comes great astuteness. So while I'm no trained film critic, with dissertations in the cinema of postmodern Swedish filmmakers and their effect on the childbearing habits of chimpanzees or other apes, what I do have on my side is experience. For more than a decade now I have spent lakhs of rupees and more hours than I can put a price to in cinema halls in the hope of some entertainment. My success rate has been woefully low.
(Please click on chart for clearer view)

So as you can tell from my nifty pie chart, my movie entertainment experience leaves a lot to be desired. If I club the movies I truly enjoyed to those I enjoyed only because I was determined to, my success rate is still shockingly pathetic at a meager 23%. To put it simply, I have only sorta enjoyed 1 out of every 4 movies I've ever watched. So 75% of all the money and time I ever spent in a cinema hall was a complete waste! And to think that I could've spent all that time and money in a gym - it simply breaks my heart.

Which is why I've decided that from now I will do what we were taught never to do as kids - judge a movie by it's publicity stills. Fortunately, I have enough experience in crappy movie watching to be able to sniff out a stinker when I see one.

Movie name: Game
My verdict: Flop
Reasons: Given below

Reason 1: It has Kangana Ranaut playing what appears to be some sort of tough cop. Unless this movie is a brilliant farce, the idea of Ms Ranaut as anything but a north Indian village belle is ludicrous.

Reason 2: The poster has the movie's two leading ladies in a furious pouting competition with Abhishek Bachchan. Personally, I'm going to give this round to AB Jr., as he manages to make an impact despite the lack of lipstick.

Reason 3: Boman Irani's concern over what a bad decision he made by agreeing to be part of this movie was so great that he couldn't mask it even for the photo shoot.

Reason 4: This picture below

Reason 5: It has a scene where Sarah Jane Dias picks lice out of Abhishek Bachchan's hair.

Reason 6: It has dance moves that even my 7-year-old niece would not deem worthy of performing at her local building Bollywood dance class.

In conclusion, I can safely announce that the movie 'Game' that is fittingly been released on April 1st, will be a game nobody wished they ever played. And as I end my soothsaying for today, I would like to pose a question to Abhishek B. Abhishek, if I, a non film graduate whose only qualification is that she's spent too many hours watching crap cinema, can spot a turkey a mile away, why of why, can't you?

Posted by that girl in pink  | 10:16 am  |  6 comments