life through pink colour glasses: Delhi Diary

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Delhi Diary

I hate kids. And today they drove me to tears...

...and it’s all my mom’s fault.

Ok, let me explain. See, my mom and some friends run this school for little kids at one of the friends’ farmhouse, somewhere deep in Haryana, beyond Gurgaon and everything. The students are children of construction workers from around the farmhouse. Now my mom and gang take this school running thing very seriously. The kids have uniforms, school bags, a dedicated teacher…it’s all very Swades inspired and I of course have zero interest in the whole project.

Around 10 this morning though, just as I was enjoying my bed tea and wondering which balcony would be best for some sun soaking, dog stroking and book reading, I hear my mom flapping. (I love being at home, by the way. I get tea in bed. With separate sugar, almonds that have been soaked overnight and biscuits of my choice. I’m telling you, it’s the only way to have your morning tea.)

So anyway, annoyed at my peaceful morning ritual being interrupted, I pottered out to ask what the problem was. Uno, my dog, annoyed at the sudden cessation of his mid-morning biscuits, also angrily walked out behind me and demanded an explanation. Apparently the driver hadn’t turned up and my mom absolutely had to go to the school (It’s called Gyan Shakti) today and there was no way she was going to drive all that way and she just didn’t know what to do!

Well, as I discovered today, heroes are borne out of a lack of ability to keep your mouth shut. There I was; unemployed, with no plans for the day, a nose that just doesn’t stay out of other people’s business and a driver’s license. My fate was sealed.

Two hours later, after traversing past 7 million incomplete flyovers, 3 million property dealer offices and hearing Kajra Re 6 million times on radio we were finally at the Aravalli Farmhouse Resorts something or the other. A gardener with a bandaged ear opened the gate and we entered Gyan Shakti School.

(Funny but absolutely true story about the gardener. Apparently a couple of days back, a friend of his was totally drunk and tottering and when the gardener went to help him, the drunken friend held him really tight and bit his ear off! He actually bit a piece of his ear off. And today the gardener hitched a ride back with us to a nearby doctor, with the bitten piece of ear wrapped in plastic. I know. I’m as stunned as you are. I mean this is really taking the whole influence of 'American culture on Indians thing' a bit too far, don’t you think?)

Ok, getting back to the main story. So we enter the farm house and I’m thinking, not bad at all. It’s kinda rustic and all close to nature and everything. And it’s such a lovely sunny day. While my mom finishes whatever work she has with the kids, maybe I can just laze around and play Su-doku or something. Glare from mom. Ok ok, first I’ll come and see where this great school is and see what these kids are up to.

So I reluctantly follow my mom behind this wall to see what the hullaballo is about. Well, whatever it was, I wasn’t prepared.

Near this covered shed/big hall sort of place are about 40 of the most enthusiastic, most beautiful little kids I have ever seen. Most were dressed in their school uniforms and some were getting their measurements taken by a tailor who’d been called from nearby. All the kids were facing a young lady school teacher who was teaching them something on one of those painting canvas type black boards. As soon as the kids saw my mom approach their faces lit up and I heard the loudest and happiest “Good morning Ma’am” echo through the farm.

These kids were of ages ranging from 6 to about 14 but none had the annoying traits that usually accompany the various age groups. The younger ones were bright eyed and smiley and the older ones respectful, eager and dignified. No child was crying or whining or whispering or being sullen. And when some snacks were passed around for the kids, none of them were pushy or impatient or afraid they might not get their share. They were just happy kids, happy to get their bit at their time and happy to munch on them in the sunny winter afternoon.

As I stood there, transfixed by the glow they were emanating, I started to think. These weren’t like the kids I’m usually subjected to. Kids who have an ‘attitude’ from age three, who remind you of the movie ‘Omen’ and who are usually very easy to be fed up of in less than 15 minutes. These kids actually had some of those mythical qualities people associate with children. Their eyes were actually shining, their smiles actually made you all fuzzy inside and was that…is that what they call ‘innocence’?

So mesmerised was I that I didn’t realise when someone asked the kids to say their morning prayers. It was of course 1:00 in the afternoon and I suspect all this was being done for effect. Well, effect it had. When the kids started singing “Aye Malik, tere bande hum” at the top of their voices, it was too much even for me. My heart filled with a million emotions I’m not sure I can identify and so did my eyes. Luckily, my sun glasses were close at hand and together we avoided what could’ve been a supremely embarrassing scene. (Now there’s an ad for Ray-Ban!)

Going through so many emotions in so little time can be taxing and so I decided to take a deep breath, settle down in a warm spot on the grass and just enjoy the afternoon. And the kids put up quite a show. Little Dinesh made the class recite after tables from 2 to 16. That really impressed me since my own knowledge extends to about 12. Well, if you really push it, I can manage till thirteen fives are sixty five. Beyond that, it’s all quick mental math and now with in built calculators on mobile phones, who even needs that?

I don’t understand why people want super smart kids. And by smart I mean smart-alecky smart. Why do parents boast that their 6 year old is conscious of her figure? Why are dads so happy when they their 10 year old boys talk back to them? That just makes these kids really short adults. And adults, as we all know are fucked up.

Maybe cable TV and city living are a bad idea. Maybe these damn malls and consumerism really are the devil. Maybe it’s time we all moved back to the farms?

Dinesh, the Math Wizard.

Prayer time.

Posted by that girl in pink | 1:40 am | 14 comments

14 Comments

at 4:26 am Vijayeta said...: Awww...i know what u mean! I hate kids. But when i say that, i mostly mean those smart alecky short adults (and the fat ones) at McDonald's with names like Aryan and Rhea etc. And the kids, like the ones that come to yr mum's school have that completely other-worldly quality about them. I know 2 little girls my mum is sponsoring...i feel so happy meeting them and talking to them and watching their bright eyed amazemnt at some things! They dont want to dress like Preity Zinta from salaam namaste (yes, i've seen brats doing that too!) and they can be really really articulate and intelligent in a very non-showoffish way!
God bless yr mum for running this school and helping so many little children!
:)
at 6:34 pm Enemy of the Republic said...: Sometimes I hate kids too, and I used to teach them, plus I'm a mom. The ones I hate are the ones whose parents are into the forbidden fruit concept; they can't do this--they can't do that, and then they come to my house and destroy it or try to get my son into acting like a real jerk. My son has a friend whose parents are strict quakers; when this kid comes to my house, everything is a gun and he's always grabbing at his crotch. I don't like to tell his mom, because she is convinced it's my fault because I am such a heathen.

Anyway, sorry for going on. I've been meaning to check out your blog and I'm glad I did!
at 8:10 pm velvetgunther said...: good work your mom's doing (and vee vee's mom too, as i just found out). well, yes, innocent kids are innocent kids...
at 3:13 am Vijayeta said...: Hey! Loved yr comment on VG's page! Would be great to start a debate there on the lines of ...Pictures of Naked Women are a bad bad idea 'cos they'll draw attention away from Barkha Dutt!
OK., I admit i'm thouroughly jobless!
By the way, what do u think of my new template? (Put up with help from VG)
at 7:27 pm that girl in pink said...: vij: "They dont want to dress like Preity Zinta from salaam namaste and they can be really really articulate and intelligent in a very non-showoffish way!" You just summed up my entire blog in one articulate sentence! now i feel like an ass :)
but seriously, the world we live in is a bit scary, don't you think? for the haves and the have-nots.

enemy: the weirdest co-incidence. the day you came here was the first day i visited your blog!
i don't see myself having kids in the next 65 years but in case i change my mind, i knw i'd be scared shitless. the reality is that kids turn out how they do, depending on how we bring them up...
thanks for dropping by & leaving a comment.

VG: still trying to figure out your cryptic comment: "innocent kids are innocent kids..." :-)
thanks for coming by.
some time back i left comment on your blog on the edward hopper post. was most moved by that post. hope you read it...
at 9:34 pm -Poison- said...: as the levels of competitiveness get pushed higher and higher, i believe that it will either reach a saturation level one day, or if the Darwin's right, we might see evolution in motion. a newer and improved generation of humans, where kids grow up, mentally, in a matter of a few months and start their PhDs by age of five, perhaps. if this keeps on happening even then, we will have smart embryos and what not, in the distant future. the light shimmering at the end of the horizon doesnt seem that bright anymore.
at 10:16 pm a s a said...: absobluminutely fabulous.

i've discovered kids only recently. sigh.

and the tea, the morning tea with separate sugar... and tea on a tray, and tch. way to go!
at 12:00 pm Anonymous said...: loved your post pink. in the 90 kmph life of bombay, i can't remember the last time i was truly touched, inspired or moved.

oh no! i do. sample this. the agency i work at, the owner's kids come to office to skate. an art director once asked them to beat it. pat came the reply, "you're quiet a bastard", aren't you!
yes. that was a six year old.

nm
at 10:35 am Sangeeta said...: Moving blog, Pink. Especially the tea in bed bit.
at 3:09 pm lemontree said...: lovely post pink
and a confession: can't get over some songs from my school assembly: humko mann ki shakti dena being represntive of the genre. have it on my ipod and listen to it on my way to work.
at 6:19 pm that girl in pink said...: hey poison: that's a scary picture you paint there! but yeah, you're right...it's wisen up or rface extinction.
methinks: thanks for dropping by! i love the morning chai routine myself. am going back to my humdrum existence soon, so gonna make the most of this pampering!
nm: what can i say? bring back corporal punishment for the little shits?
ladywriter: yeah you'd love the tea in bed bit. you lazy woman!!
lemon: hmm...so you're saying that maybe the tears were a result of the song and not the kids? that makes more sense actually...:-)
at 11:01 pm Lalit Singh said...: Nice job Pink..what ur mom is doing...
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